Episode 2: Where We Stand, Now…
The messy florescent lights burnt my eyes, this was the worst part of pretending to be human.
So I go inside instead, I ignore the lights and I watch myself walking. I wander up the stairs wondering all the way ‘how does everyone else see me?’. I push at the latch of the double doors and shift my way through them. I think about this same question a lot, sometimes the idea seems to possess me, giving me the freedom of watching it carry me through my interactions while I flitter above it all, just watching.
Funny, the things you think about once you realize your time is limitless.
From the human standpoint, I am a small spritely girl of about sixteen so we can start there I guess…
… Though it’s hard to say, I am told, since my deep green eyes are difficult to put an age with.
When you think strictly in numbers they tend to reduce the ideas attached to them.
To most of the adults in this place, I’m ‘A small girl with a big personality’.
Aka: potentially troubled and known for instigating.
I play along with the expectation and give them something to keep an eye on. It’s like acting really, easy if you let go of the criticism and ride the wave.
… So I’ll say it in the words of Mrs. Dartsworth. I have an ora that always supersedes me.
Yell ‘Boo!’ every so often and watch as they scatter in all directions with I told you so’s leaking from their loose lips.
It’s common knowledge that humans need to be right.
This time, I am playing the rebellious do-gooder, expelled from a prior school for knocking out a classmate.
The file left out key details, I had only been at St. Martins Christian School for two weeks. I was under the impression that picking on small people was frowned upon in the current society and Susie Q, class sweetheart was being a nasty B-word to Lacy the Less Popular. A pretty girl with a broken mirror, starving herself to look the way she felt.
I couldn’t stand by and watch Susie get away with slow murder. If someone didn’t step in and help her gain a win, she wouldn’t make it past senior year, what a depressingly small fish pool to end in…
So I walked directly in front of the homecoming queen and knocked her in her wicked face. Some people are too stupid to understand words, it takes a physical impression to make them understand that what they are doing won’t always work out with them on top. It’s a dog eat dog world out there if you come in biting, a bigger dog is bound to come and bite back harder.
I made a judgment call and saved us both the time in my weightless assumptions that Susie Q had much for brains, her investment was in public image and that never bred well for depth.
My brassy knuckles made delicious contact as I remembered what Cousin Puck had told me so long ago.
“Sometimes you just have to rough shit up Beckett, no one else can understand it quite but it is in our messy nature to bring things closer to themselves. It’s in our trickery that they find their humanity when it seems all but lost.”
Moments like the one shared between us girls prove his point.
After Susie was properly punched, Lacy looked up at me with the doe eyes of a disbeliever…
‘who would dare to stand up for someone as lowly as I.’ I could almost hear the words in her expression.
She felt worth something because of what I had done. Everyone watching was secretly rooting for me while verbally affirming Susie that everything would be okay.
Most importantly, I was able to fulfill my need to be a hero, a less well-known characteristic of our kind. And little Suzie learned an important lesson… Just because someone can’t or won’t stand up and do the right thing for themselves, don’t mean someone else won’t.
I watched myself walking effortlessly over the hallways tiled surface, my weightless hightops hugging my most precious superpower. My feet carry me everywhere when my wings were undercover, without them, I would never move at all in this rule-abiding reality.
I turned up the wireless headphones I’d stuffed into my ears and closed my eyes, soaking in the delicious melody.
I devoured its contents note for note and suddenly felt as though my feet could leave the ground. This is why I stay here… I can’t help but smile as I realize it once more…
The music consumed me, and I put up my hoodie and closed my eyes as I made my way to the lockers. I watched myself walking confidently down the hall and placed the image on autopilot. Giving me time to just think.
These creatures loved music almost as much as we needed it. we fit perfectly together, and someone had to remain in guardianship of this realm. If that meant it was our time to shine the humans had done a good job choosing interests that chose us as well, drawing us in like flies to sweet honey, only to slowly suffocate in its contents. I couldn’t use music as a crouch, yet so often I felt I did.
They say that if a woman spends time around other women their period would sync up, that’s how I see emotions, if I spend to much time with humans, I start to feel little inclinations that don’t make sense, some of the deep and dark, yet fleeting, others melancholy and completely against my more playful nature. Maybe that’s why the Guardians had closed themselves off and taken a step back. It could be unpleasant…
The others had slowly killed themselves off, cut themselves out of the mainstream modern literature to be left alone by the ‘squabbling fools’, they stopped extending their energy as musings because many of them felt it would be a waste of time. Humans were becoming lazy…
The Guardians didn’t appreciate the beautiful creatures humans could be because they’d stopped spending time with them. The big six started missing the magic and pride they had once felt in their creations. Once human’s ideas of goodness and nobility began to disappear. From the bigger picture viewpoint, it looked like humanity was fading, which bagged the question those of us who’d stuck around in spite of the shortcomings…
Where humans trying to go dark as well?…
Trying to disappear?
Were they tired already? Their race had only just begun…
Was Lacy another reflection of this truth?
Had they already decided to give up and throw in the towel so soon?
At the rate, they were going and without heroes to look too, they would write themselves off and see their way from the mainstream as well, disappearing into irrelevance.
I was here to make sure that didn’t happen.
People call us a lot of things, creatures of the night, pixies, sprites, brownies, imps, elves. I myself, prefer something a little lighter, less weighty and judgemental regarding our inner nature. Humans don’t seem to get it. They are so caught up in such superficial attributes and their measures of worth they don’t catch the real differences that count.
I am here as an ambassador and I have fifty years felt to proof without real interference, that humanity still carries that special spark the Guardians had once been so fond of…
I looked down, out of my thoughts to make sure my feet were still touching the ground. Sometimes I lost my agreement with gravity when other thoughts and sounds consumed me so quickly that I forgot the rules I had agreed to in my attempt to blend in.
When you are timeless, sunrises and sunsets become just another cycle, a revolving door of things you can learn to simply expect. If you look at humans in groups, they are easily unappreciated, gross creatures with disgusting habits and little to no regard for things outside of themselves. When they think they are helping, they are often only hindering, if it doesn’t come naturally don’t do it.
If you don’t understand it, don’t try to fight for it. To those of us who know better it looks like a slap fight between toddlers. cute, until some snot-nosed brat starts blubber crying over it. anyone besides the mother will only find the spectacle annoying.
I opened my locker, ignoring the noise and voices and shuffling books and backpacks around me for one more delicious moment of music and my own thoughts.
Two pretty girls looked at me like someone invading a private, secret, conversation with my presence, one mouthed something I didn’t care enough to read lips to understand through my noise canceling headphones. I smiled and extended an invitation to try harder to impress me. I even tried to make it warm. I got the up-down look from one, and the other rolled her eyes as if to suggest she used to people w, Hello new Susie Q.
The thought made me smile to myself while digging out my books.
I didn’t need an accomplice to affirm that their expression was a needless show of insecurity. It obviously had nothing to do with me…
I closed my locker and walked toward the classroom, pausing for a final breath of fresh air before disappearing into my role completely.