From the Inside, Out…
We can be free, we can be free,
what does that sentiment say to me?
I close my eyes and I’m surrounded in green,
the leaves of trees whisper to me of the things they have seen,
They don’t bare the harsh assessment they never condemn,
green to my namesake,
They give me their strength so I won’t break,
They give me their roots so I won’t fade to fake.
Full of life, swaying in the breeze, in their embrace they extend me a key,
the key to happiness, the key to myself as they see me.
You see, I know deep down I should trust them,
because they’ve always known what was best.
It is in their embrace my weary soul finds rest.
I travel with wolves to better understand them,
I’ve felt their touch, tasted their bloodlust,
And they’ve left me to rust with but a crust.
My good intentions twisted and turned,
my good name berated and burned.
When I can’t see through my weary teary eyes,
I’ve learned to close them to the lies.
Behind the dark veil, I find a million trails surrounded in forested scenery,
sometimes seeing their beautiful leaves brings out the worst in me.
I’ve lost mine, my bark is bare,
I have nothing but scars to share.
Suddenly, I don’t want them to see me.
“Why should I try? Why should I care?
When it’s this world that doesn’t play fair?”
This time, it was me looking for vengeance.
My anger was met by a flood of silence…
Through the quiet, I was forced to faced my violence,
I had to let it all go before their truth could show.
Through closed eyes and quiet lips, they walked me through my all-time low.
Oh my beautiful, my beloved we face seasons of our own,
I watched them turn from green to vibrant orange to bare as a bone.
all the while whispering to me,
You’ve never been alone, you’ve never been alone.
We’ve known what you needed all along you see,
“You mean you have plans for me?”
I call out from above my bleeding knees,
a laugh brushes over the breeze
Of course, there’s more than meets the eye, you see?
I couldn’t accept their kindness yet, I wasn’t ready,
to stop throwing the blame and being petty…
“Where were you when I felt neglected, what of when I felt judged?
But mostly, where were you when I needed more than a nudge to budge?”
I took a deep breath and unleashed another torrent,
as the blistering anguish turned to a blustering vent.
“I’ve felt so naked for so long,
I feel like all I do is wrong!
Emptiness consumes me, my colors all seem dull,
I’ve felt so out of touch I no longer know my role…”
I see sap leaking from my tattered core,
as I lift my branches to suggest I can’t take anymore.
I watched the trees shed their colors in answer to my rant.
We are not the enemy, we are not the enemy…
I watched the picture change through the chant,
From Summer to Fall to Winter to Spring,
only to rinse and repeat without reasons.
The spirit of the trees don’t seek to blame the seasons,
as they scatter their leaves in the wind.
I watched their forms bud and mend,
They bend under pressure but they hold against all weather,
a light bulb flashes on as I watch them…
Maybe it isn’t about holding against but becoming a part of the mayhem.
I open my eyes as I realize, I’ve been resisting when I should just give in,
and not to the environment I am living in.
Breath out the negativities, and allow myself to see the version I wish to be
the vision of me I found in the trees…
So, When I start to feel weak in the knees,
When I start to doubt my direction,
I will forever find it in natures affection.